America, its you again!

With grand ignorance and lack of common sense, one can become sole super power - USa has been a sparkling example! And their success is so seductive it allures the rest of world to borrow its super-ignorance. Just like unalloyed belief on CREDIT RATINGS!

I can see how ridiculous some "standard" American guy poor of common sense tells "NO!! Her size is not AAA but AA" whole world starts crying!! Trust & reliability on the by-products of their ignorance, is matchless! Mr. Rater is so flawed and nonsense that countries like PIGS (Portugal, Italy, Shiva shiva Greece & lol Spain) who are BIMARUs of the world have better rating than India. If this is not whimsical sway of moody Fitch then what else! Please compare assets, real growth, or SAVINGS etc...India fares better. Baseless. Anyways let the credit ratings go.

Focus on the issue: US economy is a grasshopper, they never save. They spend 37% of GDP with only half of them paying taxes!! And now they have borrowed everything they can to the point of default, hence cannot borrow more. To make matters worse, they want to attract borrowers now either by increasing yield on their bonds or lessening the price or both! But how shall they redeem bond holders?? And how can they promise higher yield when their growth is almost halted?

Dear America, at least for economic reasons, you should have stopped investing in Iraq, afghan & other wars. You don’t have to borrow and invest in war. Unemployment in your country is not a result of outsourcing rather it’s a result of your govt's policy making and lack of progressive foresight. The catastrophe, which you have created, is indeed a triumph of your unregulated capitalism, unbridled globalization and canonized ignorance. Or on a second thought, you can consider it to be a last leg of official transition of power from West to East (rather from single point of concentration to globally distributed power poles!) in the background of strange economic cycles.

So what you can do to avoid catastrophe?

· First, present the inherent nonsense of these rating agencies & communicate to the world not to take seriously. Shut the agencies ass!

· For god's sake, make love not war! You can use all that budget and healthy workforce productively in spurring growth

· Keep a check on your love for capitalism. Because capitalism is not an adult, it is like a teen, there should be timely n friendly guidance.

· Tell academicians to teach CAPM is just a vague measurement and not to take American bond as Risk-Free while calculating :) This is a spoilsport. If ever possible, slowly integrate fractal geometry.

· And sell gold now.

Relationships at Work

My dad always tells the quality of one's life is strongly correlated to the quality of one's relationships. Relationship with oneself, with people and with everything in the world, if not universe. I could not stop recalling my dad while signing up for a training program "Building and strengthening Relationships at Business" at office. I was sweetly impressed by no-nonsense and non-cliche approach of the course. Session not only helped in refreshing our "known" concepts but also the importance of repetition. It reminded me if "known" things are not consciously functionalized they become dysfunctional not just non-functional! It was timeless lesson. And I thought why not share some important nuggets from the program with you:

- Respect and concern for the person builds strong relationship

- Seek out and spend time with them. Take an interest in them.

- Active listening

- Offer something for nothing

- Spend lunch hours with peers

- Serve on special projects and volunteer company-wide activities/committees

- Be truthful and open even if others are not

- Provide correct, clear and complete information when people reach out for you

- Avoid negative non-verbal behavior. Avoid complains

- Use please and thank you non-mechanically

- Evaluate criticism objectively

- Give more than you get

- Meet your inner circle + external circle at least once a month (6+6)

- Exude energy and enthusiasm for attitudes are reciprocal

Remember, its great to be liked but even greater to be NEEDED

Canine Corporatus - Corporate Dog!

Canine Corporatus!!!
No...not about corporate bitches which are easily found everywhere. Neither it is about those rabies-infected corporate-stray dogs like Sujeeth nor is it about squalid canines such as Rajaraman or PerCash, who fail to qualify even for the categories mentioned.

By corporate dogs, i mean dogs of/for an organization just like dogs at/for home. Meaning is straight and simple. Bulls, bears, stags, hen, parrots, sharks and foxes are all part of our corporate world. Why not our faithful and friendly dog be part of this world? What if each organization has its own pet dog? A dog that belongs to a company. A dog that lives in the company campus. A dog, which can be part of company's security. I think you got a fair idea of what I’m talking about. If each company has its dog, then we call them “Look its Infosys dog" "No no, its Capgemini dog"..."Stupid, are you blind or what?! it is Accenture doggy". And probably veterinary doctors and geeks from scientific brotherhood identify them as "Canine Corporatus!!! And dogs might feel honored for this respectful transformation in their Family name from Vulgaris to Corporatus ;). [I hear an imaginary dog barking "Every dog has his day]

Let’s imagine this to be true. Then, that is my topic. Well then where would you put that dog- in a balance sheet or P-n-L? Do you think it is generating revenues/cash?? For my sake, assume it’s a lazy dog, which strolls around and enjoys its time with the company's security team. Company takes care of it..khana, peena and health but it does nothing eventually (liability or Expenses??) Can you think of how it adds value to company. How should I calculate its depreciation, if one possibly can? What if it’s a she-dog? How would you evaluate this canine asset? Is it based on number of pups that he might give birth to or its impact on the organizations security system? Guys, remember it adds additional costs to company in terms of living expenses, time that employees waste to pet her, and costs expended to clean its poo, here and there, in the campus.
What if pups are born out of an affair between SAP (male dog) and Oracle (female dog)? How would you distribute the new barking-assets? How much ownership does SAP has in this situation? Do tax benefits differ for male and female dogs like male and female employees? If it wags tail or appreciates the smell of any other dog on campus, do you think this risqué can be labeled as sexual harassment and breach of conduct??
What if Microsoft dog (she dog) likes Google's dog (He) and wants to date? Do you contain her sexual freedom in the name of conflict of interest because Microsoft doesn’t like any merger with Goog. Anyways and in any case, we don’t pay this dog for for its services and its loyalty towards company? These two points should raise brows of any watchdogs from animal activist groups, isn’t it?
If this faithful canine colleague performs exceptionally well and exceeds expectations in all Cir-KAMA-stances, Will it be able to break all the corporate ceilings and cross human-animal divide in this world where only performance matters. In accordance with Hindu philosophy, will his phenomenal, effective and progressive life (Karma Yoga) trick Karmic cycles to enable his next birth as a higher being, that is, Homo Corporatus!!
Dear HR, have you considered your dog's this exceptional privilege? Can you apply carry-forward in this case and prompt him through promotion cycles just like Karmic ones so that he is CXO.
Let me stop my stream of thoughts here. Eagerly waiting for your responses..