I decided to put my blog on the death bed. Surely I haven’t done enough blogging or real quality sharing. From the core of my emotional furnaces (spanning jocund, dismal, and all feelings in between) to the prolific meadows of fecund ideas..Thoughts, insights, intuitions, reflections, novelties keep sprouting incessantly...but why and for what. It is impossible to write all that i want to write or rather I choose to write...Time, this medium and audience are constraints. Somewhere down the curve, i realized the vanity of the blog..Reflections tickle me ...there is none to share..Nor there is one to listen...In my place, I must talk about payout policies, financial models, counter-intuitive strategies, capital markets, management, cash flows, betas, cases, "ad-nauseam" innovation, and statistics pepertually...ohhhh my god...!!! I cannot leave the discussion for it’s the only point of contact with humanity...
I dislike Orkut, Facebook or anything non-personal...for me they are just...! But i knew how to USE them. But now I see that I am almost close to addiction to these dirty digital indulgences.
I realized that I started talking to my blog instead of soliloquy (bit exaggeration). I could reach a stage where I think everything in terms of blogification. “Should I write this, Can I write this?”. I hate classification, attachment or linearity. I don’t want be "-ified" or "-itioned" by anything. Some nasty smart-alecs may ask a tautological question here, but I don’t care to answer clichés. For me freedom is absolutely necessary. Given emotionally-hard conditions here, I'm susceptible to become habituated: losing freedom and eventually losing the knowledge that I lost my freedom.
I don’t know what to do with this "Golbnu". I even wonder if there are any readers of Golbnu. More philosophically, what If i don’t write...nothing..Nothing will happen, nothing really matters...Moreover, whatever i wrote so far was not even one millionth of what i really think or want to say.
